This is where I’m at this morning. Sitting in the living room, looking at the lights while working on my computer. My dog, you can’t see him, is up on the other corner of the couch you’re looking at. He’s curled up in a ball looking at me. I have an empty bowl of cereal sitting next me and Christmas candy (more specifically, mini-reese’s wrapped in christmas colors) sitting on both end tables.
This weekend wasn’t much for the books. It was enjoyable, but it felt pretty low key. I worked Friday and Saturday. On Friday night, I joined my best friend Makayla (who I’m riding 50 miles for to raise money for diabetes) at Mississippi Legends Grill for a few drinks and these amazing jalepeno chedder balls. Her husband stopped by for a little bit and ended up paying the entire bill – it was a nice surprise and I was very grateful! Saturday night, I didn’t do anything… I should have cleaned my room, but I didn’t. Sunday, I went to church (for the first time in a long time) and I’m so glad I did! I then went to the new outlet malls in Mississippi with my friend and her husband who were in town for a few hours. Another sweet surprise – she bought me cookies and when she was purchasing some kitchen stuff, she was able to buy 2, get 1 free and so she had me pick out the free item for myself. Then Sunday night, I finally attempted to do some laundry and clean my room. It’s still not finished, I wasn’t overly motivated or anything haha.
So let’s talk about what I learned at church:
We just started a series on Miracles. Obviously, the birth of Christ was one of the greatest miracles to ever happen. We talked about miracles in our life though. We read the story of John the Baptist and his birth. His parents were very old and unable to have children, yet God promised them a son. They didn’t have faith at first though. God came through with a miracle and they were blessed!
Miracles do happen. We rarely have the faith to believe in them though. A miracle is something that cannot be explained, something that seems completely impossible in this world, but with God, all things are possible. At the end of the service, we wrote down miracles that we needed to see in our life. The thing with God is this… you can’t put limitations on him – no strict stipulations about how it should turn out or a time frame for his work to be done. When you ask for a miracle, you ask that it’s done his way and on his watch. I wrote down 2 miracles that I wanted to see in my life. Two situations that I’ve time after time put limitations on and time restraints on. I now have faith that God can perform these miracles. They may not be answered the way I expect or want right away… They may not be answered by January or even in the year 2014. They may be difficult to heal from… difficult to deal with, but God heals. I’ve been having a rough few weeks and months. My spirits have been down and my blog has not been the joyful place I desire it to be. Releasing these situations to God though has relieved a great deal of pain and frustration. I have some decisions to make in the coming weeks and months, decisions that will direct my life. I have no idea where to go and what to decide, but I know God will direct my path. I am so thankful that I decided to go to church yesterday. Like I said, it had been a while since I last went. I’m not sure what exactly pushed me to go – well, that was probably God… he obviously had something to say. I’m looking forward to continuing this series on Miracles throughout December and I look forward to sharing the miracles God will perform in my life.
The truth is… I’m still sad a lot of the time. I’m still frustrated and hurting, but I know that God has a plan for me and he has some miracles up his sleeve that I couldn’t even dream up if I wanted. I don’t want my blog to be a depressing place and right now, my life is more depressing than happy, which is why I haven’t blogged too much the past few weeks unless they were scheduled already. I’m noticing a change of heart though and although my life hasn’t changed much in the way of circumstances, my heart has. It’s still struggling, but it’s desperately gasping for air and fighting like hell to achieve joy and happiness in the midst of trying times.
I know it’s my blog and no apologies are necessary. I just wanted to share what my heart has experienced in the past 24 hours. I’m thankful for friends and family, I’m thankful for bloggers who check on me, I’m thankful for prayers being sent up for me and about me during this time. If you will continue to pray, I ask that you not pray for a specific thing to happen to me or for me, but you pray for the miracles I’ve requested. I’ve sent my request to God, he knows and understands what I’m asking and how I’m asking it. My request has no limitations or time commitments – I’ve talked that all out with God, just pray for a miracle, because during this time, when all seems lost and my requests seem impossible to this pea sized brain and heart of mine, God can do immeasurably more than I could ever fathom!
I hope y’all are having a beautiful Monday and are staying safe with the ice and rain around the country! It’s been raining non-stop for the past few days here!